JOBX

We are all in search of that dream job, the one that Confucius was on about when he said “Find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”.

This may mean more money, working to live not living to work, a job offering prestige or comfort and a plethora of other factors.

Little thought is given, however, to the worst jobs. Many of these are vital but are so repulsive, monotonous and dangerous that most people in their right mind would never consider them.

I decided to reflect on these humble souls who attempt the impossible, the revolting and the terrifying to perform tasks on a daily basis that just have to be done.

So here we go, in no particular order. Feel free to disagree with me.

1. Nursing Assistant in a Nursing home – This needs little explanation. Just imagine bed pans, sponge baths and in some cases nappy changes.
2. Telemarketing – Yup I’ve been one of these and would not wish it on my worst enemy. The monotony and repetition are enough to send you loopy, and your only reprieve is the occasional irate caller and a 3 minute timed toilet break.
3. Forensic Entomologist – I wasn’t aware that this profession existed, but these people solve murders by studying maggots. In murder investigations they investigate when and where insects lay eggs and where they appear on dead bodies, which helps to determine the time and location of the death…EEWE.
4. Coursework Carcass Preparer – Another one to avoid if you have a weak stomach. Most of us at some stage have entered a biology lab and gawked at the creepy crawlies floating in formaldehyde. It is these guys jobs to poison, preserve and bottle the frogs, cockroaches, worms and cat foetuses.
5. Gastroenterologist – These doctors spend the majority of their time where the sun don’t shine. They perform routine, unpleasant procedures such as colonoscopies, and endoscopies (all type of “oscopies” for that matter). Guess someone’s got to do it and I’m told the money is pretty good.
6. Private Security Escort in Iraq – These employees escort convoys and protect diplomats in Iraq. While there is never a dull moment the life expectancy, as you can imagine, is not particularly high.
7. Sewer inspector – These guys are like hardcore plumbers that scale the city sewers ( Ninja Turtle-style) checking for blocked pipes. A few negatives include the smell, the rats, the cockroaches, and crawling through several inches of raw sewage.

I could carry on for days…Next time you complain about your job spare a thought for these poor buggers. I know I will.